Have you ever felt ugly or unattractive? Sometimes people can feel that way if they put on a few pounds, if someone rejects them or after they acted out in anger.
No matter what society determines as being attractive, I believe everyone is beautiful in their own way. They key is that you must feel good inside to really express that beautiful self out in the world. Here are some simple ways to access authentic beauty in the world and in your heart:
1. Appreciate those you love. Thank someone in your life for something nice they did for you or just being in your world.
2. Take time to look at nature every day. There is a perfection in the balance of the earth, plants and animals that are unmatched by synthetic substitutes.
3. Daily meditation. Quieting your noisy, mostly negative mind can bring in a lightness and silence that heals the rough edges of your perception of yourself and your life.
4. Wear bright colors. The clothes you wear can make an impact on how good you feel. Clothing that is too tight, too loose or torn can drag down your confidence. Dress in the way that makes you express your best.
5. Engage in a healthy lifestyle. Eat nutritious foods that make you feel better about your body. Take time each day to move your body and thank your body for all that it does for you.
Instead of spending tons of money on expensive creams, plastic surgery or designer clothes, these ideas can be implemented with little or no financial investment and will give you greater results. You will truly feel more beautiful from the inside out.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Understand LOVE
Is love easy to understand? What makes it special or what makes it disturbing? What connects? What fails?
This article discusses essential characteristics of love. You will connect to these and connect to your soul mates.
Love is discovery: Love is the process of finding oneself in other eyes. It is about realizing your self-esteem in folks who have care for you.
Love is giving: Love is giving and expecting no return favor. Control is not the hallmark of love. Love needs no calculation to get love back.
Love is becoming: True love exists when you do not have to blame or explain, you just feel and connect.
Love is doing: You can either love what you do or do what you love. Any other combination will fail.
Love is demonstrating: A solicited love will fail. A demonstrated love will win. Those who are able to demonstrate their love without intruding in the space of
others get love back. Love is cooperation: The only way to win love and respect is to kill greed and cooperate for common goals.
Love is sacrifice: Love demands only one sacrifice and that is to love what you love more than anybody or anything else.
Love is blessing: Fear kills fear. Might kills right. Love wins all.
Love is correction: Punishment ensures you follow a set process. Love ensures you connect to the process. The results of punishment are immediate but divisive.
The results of love, though delayed, are sure and uniting.
Love is self-respect: To love your love, you need to love yourself. Without self-confidence, there is no love.
Love is direction: Lost in love, lost in life. Love connects to others; any other feeling stays mechanical.
Love is work: Love your work because nobody else should.
Love is creation: Love creates. It will make you what you want to be.
Keep loving!! It creates, refines and defines life.
This article discusses essential characteristics of love. You will connect to these and connect to your soul mates.
Love is discovery: Love is the process of finding oneself in other eyes. It is about realizing your self-esteem in folks who have care for you.
Love is giving: Love is giving and expecting no return favor. Control is not the hallmark of love. Love needs no calculation to get love back.
Love is becoming: True love exists when you do not have to blame or explain, you just feel and connect.
Love is doing: You can either love what you do or do what you love. Any other combination will fail.
Love is demonstrating: A solicited love will fail. A demonstrated love will win. Those who are able to demonstrate their love without intruding in the space of
others get love back. Love is cooperation: The only way to win love and respect is to kill greed and cooperate for common goals.
Love is sacrifice: Love demands only one sacrifice and that is to love what you love more than anybody or anything else.
Love is blessing: Fear kills fear. Might kills right. Love wins all.
Love is correction: Punishment ensures you follow a set process. Love ensures you connect to the process. The results of punishment are immediate but divisive.
The results of love, though delayed, are sure and uniting.
Love is self-respect: To love your love, you need to love yourself. Without self-confidence, there is no love.
Love is direction: Lost in love, lost in life. Love connects to others; any other feeling stays mechanical.
Love is work: Love your work because nobody else should.
Love is creation: Love creates. It will make you what you want to be.
Keep loving!! It creates, refines and defines life.
Monday, August 17, 2009
29 way to keep your relationship turned up
Why do some relationships last forever and others fall apart? Here are some ways you can make your partner feel appreciated again and prevent your relationship from becoming a casualty.
1. Treat your partner as you would your boss, best friend, or best customer.
2. Think about what your partner wants and give it to him or her.
3. Think of ways you can do the unexpected and be thoughtful. Remember how you acted when you wanted to win your partner over.
4. Pay attention to your appearance. Dress nicely; get into shape.
5. Express your thoughts carefully. Being married doesn’t give anyone permission to let it all hang out.
6. Spend regular time together alone.
7. Look for ways to compliment your partner.
8. Hug when you say hello and goodbye. It feels good and it makes people feel loved.
9. Learn and practice communication skills. Relating successfully to another person requires a set of skills that can be learned.
10. Be polite. Just because you are married doesn’t mean you can forget your manners.
11. When you want something, say please.
12. When your partner does something for you, say thank you.
13. When your partner comes home after a day at work, greet her at the door and say hello. Ask how her day went.
14. When your partner leaves for work in the morning, say goodbye and “I love you” or “Have a good day.”
15. When your partner faces a challenge at work during the day, ask how it went when you get home.
16. During your evening meal together, avoid the temptation to watch television or read the paper or mail. Look at your partner and have a conversation.
17. If you want to make plans that affect how your partner will be spending time, check with him first and make sure it’s convenient.
18. When you ask your partner a question, make eye contact and listen to the answer.
19. When you disagree with something your partner says, pay attention to your response. Do you express your opinion without putting her down? You can express your opinion assertively rather than aggressively. For example, you can say, “I have another opinion. I think we should wait until spring to have the walls painted,” rather than, “That’s silly! We should wait until spring.”
20. Pay attention to how much of your side of the conversation is asking questions versus making statements. If you tend to be the dominant one, ask more questions.
21. Ask open-ended questions to encourage your partner to open up and talk. Open-ended questions begin like this:
1. Tell me about...
2. What do you think of...
3. What was it like when...
22. Have you become passive with your partner because that’s the easiest way to avoid conflict? Over time, this is not a good idea. You will inevitably begin to build up feelings of resentment because you are stifling your feelings, thoughts, and opinions. If you think you are choosing passive behavior too often, think about discussing it with your partner and asking him to help you be more assertive.
23. Researchers have found that people whose marriages last the longest have learned to separate from their families of origin (their own parents and siblings) and have appropriate, healthy boundaries. They value and honor their own privacy and separateness as a couple. This means they have regular, appropriate contact with their extended family, but that it is not excessive or stifling. How do you compare?
24. Check your communication with your partner and beware of using “You” messages. These are statements that begin with you. For example:
You need to come home by 6:00 tonight.
You shouldn’t do that.
You should call me from the office and tell me when you’ll be home.
Here is what you ought to do.
“You” messages are damaging because they make the other person feel bad or disrespected. It feels like you are talking down to him or her.
25. If you want to demonstrate to your partner that you respect and esteem him or her, try speaking with “I” messages instead. When you start your statement with “I,” you are taking responsibility for the statement. It is less blameful and less negative than the “you” message.
You can use this formula: Your feelings + Describe the behavior + Effect on you. This is how an “I” message sounds: When I heard that you’d planned a weekend up north, I was confused about why you hadn’t asked me first, so I could be sure to get the time off. It takes some practice and you have to stop and think about what you are going to say, but your marriage deserves to be handled with care.
26. Make a list of your partner’s positive qualities. Share them with him and tell her why you think each is true.
27. Ask your partner to do the same for you.
28. Respect each other’s private space. Over time, many couples let this slide.
29. As the years pass, many couples begin to feel like they are living in the same house, but have parallel lives. Their paths cross in fewer places. What is the trend in your relationship and what do you want to do about it?
1. Treat your partner as you would your boss, best friend, or best customer.
2. Think about what your partner wants and give it to him or her.
3. Think of ways you can do the unexpected and be thoughtful. Remember how you acted when you wanted to win your partner over.
4. Pay attention to your appearance. Dress nicely; get into shape.
5. Express your thoughts carefully. Being married doesn’t give anyone permission to let it all hang out.
6. Spend regular time together alone.
7. Look for ways to compliment your partner.
8. Hug when you say hello and goodbye. It feels good and it makes people feel loved.
9. Learn and practice communication skills. Relating successfully to another person requires a set of skills that can be learned.
10. Be polite. Just because you are married doesn’t mean you can forget your manners.
11. When you want something, say please.
12. When your partner does something for you, say thank you.
13. When your partner comes home after a day at work, greet her at the door and say hello. Ask how her day went.
14. When your partner leaves for work in the morning, say goodbye and “I love you” or “Have a good day.”
15. When your partner faces a challenge at work during the day, ask how it went when you get home.
16. During your evening meal together, avoid the temptation to watch television or read the paper or mail. Look at your partner and have a conversation.
17. If you want to make plans that affect how your partner will be spending time, check with him first and make sure it’s convenient.
18. When you ask your partner a question, make eye contact and listen to the answer.
19. When you disagree with something your partner says, pay attention to your response. Do you express your opinion without putting her down? You can express your opinion assertively rather than aggressively. For example, you can say, “I have another opinion. I think we should wait until spring to have the walls painted,” rather than, “That’s silly! We should wait until spring.”
20. Pay attention to how much of your side of the conversation is asking questions versus making statements. If you tend to be the dominant one, ask more questions.
21. Ask open-ended questions to encourage your partner to open up and talk. Open-ended questions begin like this:
1. Tell me about...
2. What do you think of...
3. What was it like when...
22. Have you become passive with your partner because that’s the easiest way to avoid conflict? Over time, this is not a good idea. You will inevitably begin to build up feelings of resentment because you are stifling your feelings, thoughts, and opinions. If you think you are choosing passive behavior too often, think about discussing it with your partner and asking him to help you be more assertive.
23. Researchers have found that people whose marriages last the longest have learned to separate from their families of origin (their own parents and siblings) and have appropriate, healthy boundaries. They value and honor their own privacy and separateness as a couple. This means they have regular, appropriate contact with their extended family, but that it is not excessive or stifling. How do you compare?
24. Check your communication with your partner and beware of using “You” messages. These are statements that begin with you. For example:
You need to come home by 6:00 tonight.
You shouldn’t do that.
You should call me from the office and tell me when you’ll be home.
Here is what you ought to do.
“You” messages are damaging because they make the other person feel bad or disrespected. It feels like you are talking down to him or her.
25. If you want to demonstrate to your partner that you respect and esteem him or her, try speaking with “I” messages instead. When you start your statement with “I,” you are taking responsibility for the statement. It is less blameful and less negative than the “you” message.
You can use this formula: Your feelings + Describe the behavior + Effect on you. This is how an “I” message sounds: When I heard that you’d planned a weekend up north, I was confused about why you hadn’t asked me first, so I could be sure to get the time off. It takes some practice and you have to stop and think about what you are going to say, but your marriage deserves to be handled with care.
26. Make a list of your partner’s positive qualities. Share them with him and tell her why you think each is true.
27. Ask your partner to do the same for you.
28. Respect each other’s private space. Over time, many couples let this slide.
29. As the years pass, many couples begin to feel like they are living in the same house, but have parallel lives. Their paths cross in fewer places. What is the trend in your relationship and what do you want to do about it?
Menapause : A Metamorphosis
Once, when I was six years old, I broke apart a chrysalis to see what was inside.
There was nothing inside. Well, nothing recognisable, anyway.
I later learned that after its cocoon is sealed and hardened, a caterpillar slowly disintegrates. It melts into a kind of sludge. Eventually, some time during winter, from out of this sludge of undifferentiated cells, a butterfly begins to form.
Nobody warned me that menopause is a lot like that. Maybe it is as well they didn't. After all, how do you go on feeling smart, sexy, capable, confident and all-round good about yourself if you know you are gradually turning into sludge? It probably doesn't bother a caterpillar, but it certainly bothered me heaps. Because you cannot come apart without feeling it. And if you are anything like me, you cannot be aware of the coming apart process without panicking. So I panicked.
My pre-menstrual syndrome was no longer pre- anything. It was most of the month, with a few good days scattered here and there like islands in a large ocean. My normally sharp thought processes were going blunt so alarmingly fast that I thought I was getting Alzheimer's. In place of a brain, I now seemed to have what felt like a wodge of thick cotton wool. Worst of all, my libido was going through the floor.
No-one had warned me about any of that.
My mother had sailed through menopause – or so she said – with no symptoms at all except that her periods stopped one day when she was fifty-five and never came back. That was it. End of story. Not even one hot flush. All my friends were the same age as me or younger. There was no-one to reassure me.
It was the mid-1980s, and the 'medical model' ruled. HRT was rapidly becoming the flavour of the month. But I was an alternative, vegetarian, health nut sort of a person and I instinctively recoiled from the idea of messing with my hormones. I decided to tough it out.
The more I thought about it, though, the more I started wondering if I could do more than simply tough it out. What if I went consciously, willingly into the cocoon and really felt what it was like to be a caterpillar coming unglued? What better way to find out what happens in there than to go in, wide awake and wondering? I felt like one of those early explorers, heading into the jungle with no map. And since I had been unable to find any decent maps, maybe I would make my own. All I had was one small fragment. It was something written by the novelist, Ursula LeGuin.
She wrote:
'..it seems a pity to have a built-in rite of passage and to dodge it, evade it, and pretend nothing has changed. That is to dodge and evade one's womanhood, to pretend one's like a man. Men, once initiated, never get a second chance. They never change again.. That's their loss, not ours. Why borrow poverty?'
A rite of passage? A second chance? This might be the weirdest journey of my life.
In some ways it was. Especially because, on the outside, I was trying to keep my 'normal' life together, while this other stuff was happening on the inside. I was presenting my habitual face to the world, then dashing home to write in my journal, analyse my dreams, meditate, and spend a lot of time just sitting quietly (or crying).
Hot flashes happened, wherever I was. So on the outside, I just made jokes about it like everyone else, took my jacket on and off, fanned my face and drank lots of cold water. On the inside, I was saying to myself: "Steady, girl. You're doing fine. This is how it feels to melt like a caterpillar." That way, each hot flush, rather than being a pesky nuisance, was a transformational process, bringing me one step closer to my new, butterfly self. But would that new self ever emerge?
My periods stopped. After I had not had one for a while, I started to regret that I hadn't marked their ending with some sort of ritual. But how can you mark the last of something if you don't know it is the last? When I realised that I would never see my own menstrual blood again, that thought made me inexplicably sad. Yes, I, too, had often referred to it as 'the curse.' But it was part of my womanliness, for all that. Now it was over. So I had to grieve.
In fact, I did bleed again, a few months later. So this time, I did a ritual, smearing some of the blood on a white seashell and putting it on my meditation altar in a gesture of reverence for what had been such an integral part of my life. After that, I felt different. As though I had turned a corner.
During that long time in the 'cocoon' of menopause, I discovered that there were many things which needed to be consciously mourned and let go: my ability to bear more children, my youthful looks, my sexual juiciness and so on. There was a lot of work to do. And as I let go of these old definitions of myself, I had no idea what would take their place. It was as though I had to clear the space, first. So sometimes, it was scary.
What helped me the most was the fact that I was documenting the process. The same spirit of scientific curiosity that had prompted my six-year old self to smash that chrysalis and peer inside was now leading me to study my own transformational process and to write about it. And because I was doing some postgraduate work in psychology at that time, as well as having a clinical practice where many of my clients were mid-life women, I was able to study not just my own process but that of other women also, and to write my thesis on it. By then, I had become so fascinated with the whole thing that I went on and turned the thesis into a book.
I was fifty-five years old. A whole new energy seemed to be stirring within me. With the publication of that first book, it felt as though I was entering a completely new phase of my life. (I never dreamed, back then, that I would later go on to write several more books, including one about the post-menopausal life).
Come the day of the book launch, I felt nervous. I had invited everybody I knew. Friends, relations, acquaintances, colleagues – the room was full of people, all from different compartments of my life. It's a weird feeling when those hitherto watertight compartments come together and people from very different parts of one's life are all tipped out into one, large room. I felt decidedly nervous – even a little bit foolish.
Some close friends had devised a ritual that would not only mark the publication of the book but would be my 'croning', my official rite of passage into the third phase of my life. They had incense and candles and all sorts of hippie things. Here were colleagues in suits and ties who had only ever seen the professional outside of me, yet here I was, making public those strange and sludgy internal processes of my menopause. I felt like running away and hiding.
But it was too late. The candles were lit. The ritual began.
My daughter sang a song in my honour. My friends crowned me with flowers and gave me a cauldron to hold. Finally, I was declared a crone.
The people all clapped.
I walked to the front of the platform, looked at the sea of faces, took a deep breath and made my first speech as a crone, or elderwoman. They all cheered.
The first person to come up to me afterwards was a man in a suit – one of the sales reps for the company handling the book's distribution. He thanked me, saying that it was by far the most beautiful book launch he had ever been to. He asked me to sign a copy of the book for his wife. He had tears in his eyes. I was utterly amazed.
That was when I realised I had wings.
© Marian Van Eyk McCain 2007
There was nothing inside. Well, nothing recognisable, anyway.
I later learned that after its cocoon is sealed and hardened, a caterpillar slowly disintegrates. It melts into a kind of sludge. Eventually, some time during winter, from out of this sludge of undifferentiated cells, a butterfly begins to form.
Nobody warned me that menopause is a lot like that. Maybe it is as well they didn't. After all, how do you go on feeling smart, sexy, capable, confident and all-round good about yourself if you know you are gradually turning into sludge? It probably doesn't bother a caterpillar, but it certainly bothered me heaps. Because you cannot come apart without feeling it. And if you are anything like me, you cannot be aware of the coming apart process without panicking. So I panicked.
My pre-menstrual syndrome was no longer pre- anything. It was most of the month, with a few good days scattered here and there like islands in a large ocean. My normally sharp thought processes were going blunt so alarmingly fast that I thought I was getting Alzheimer's. In place of a brain, I now seemed to have what felt like a wodge of thick cotton wool. Worst of all, my libido was going through the floor.
No-one had warned me about any of that.
My mother had sailed through menopause – or so she said – with no symptoms at all except that her periods stopped one day when she was fifty-five and never came back. That was it. End of story. Not even one hot flush. All my friends were the same age as me or younger. There was no-one to reassure me.
It was the mid-1980s, and the 'medical model' ruled. HRT was rapidly becoming the flavour of the month. But I was an alternative, vegetarian, health nut sort of a person and I instinctively recoiled from the idea of messing with my hormones. I decided to tough it out.
The more I thought about it, though, the more I started wondering if I could do more than simply tough it out. What if I went consciously, willingly into the cocoon and really felt what it was like to be a caterpillar coming unglued? What better way to find out what happens in there than to go in, wide awake and wondering? I felt like one of those early explorers, heading into the jungle with no map. And since I had been unable to find any decent maps, maybe I would make my own. All I had was one small fragment. It was something written by the novelist, Ursula LeGuin.
She wrote:
'..it seems a pity to have a built-in rite of passage and to dodge it, evade it, and pretend nothing has changed. That is to dodge and evade one's womanhood, to pretend one's like a man. Men, once initiated, never get a second chance. They never change again.. That's their loss, not ours. Why borrow poverty?'
A rite of passage? A second chance? This might be the weirdest journey of my life.
In some ways it was. Especially because, on the outside, I was trying to keep my 'normal' life together, while this other stuff was happening on the inside. I was presenting my habitual face to the world, then dashing home to write in my journal, analyse my dreams, meditate, and spend a lot of time just sitting quietly (or crying).
Hot flashes happened, wherever I was. So on the outside, I just made jokes about it like everyone else, took my jacket on and off, fanned my face and drank lots of cold water. On the inside, I was saying to myself: "Steady, girl. You're doing fine. This is how it feels to melt like a caterpillar." That way, each hot flush, rather than being a pesky nuisance, was a transformational process, bringing me one step closer to my new, butterfly self. But would that new self ever emerge?
My periods stopped. After I had not had one for a while, I started to regret that I hadn't marked their ending with some sort of ritual. But how can you mark the last of something if you don't know it is the last? When I realised that I would never see my own menstrual blood again, that thought made me inexplicably sad. Yes, I, too, had often referred to it as 'the curse.' But it was part of my womanliness, for all that. Now it was over. So I had to grieve.
In fact, I did bleed again, a few months later. So this time, I did a ritual, smearing some of the blood on a white seashell and putting it on my meditation altar in a gesture of reverence for what had been such an integral part of my life. After that, I felt different. As though I had turned a corner.
During that long time in the 'cocoon' of menopause, I discovered that there were many things which needed to be consciously mourned and let go: my ability to bear more children, my youthful looks, my sexual juiciness and so on. There was a lot of work to do. And as I let go of these old definitions of myself, I had no idea what would take their place. It was as though I had to clear the space, first. So sometimes, it was scary.
What helped me the most was the fact that I was documenting the process. The same spirit of scientific curiosity that had prompted my six-year old self to smash that chrysalis and peer inside was now leading me to study my own transformational process and to write about it. And because I was doing some postgraduate work in psychology at that time, as well as having a clinical practice where many of my clients were mid-life women, I was able to study not just my own process but that of other women also, and to write my thesis on it. By then, I had become so fascinated with the whole thing that I went on and turned the thesis into a book.
I was fifty-five years old. A whole new energy seemed to be stirring within me. With the publication of that first book, it felt as though I was entering a completely new phase of my life. (I never dreamed, back then, that I would later go on to write several more books, including one about the post-menopausal life).
Come the day of the book launch, I felt nervous. I had invited everybody I knew. Friends, relations, acquaintances, colleagues – the room was full of people, all from different compartments of my life. It's a weird feeling when those hitherto watertight compartments come together and people from very different parts of one's life are all tipped out into one, large room. I felt decidedly nervous – even a little bit foolish.
Some close friends had devised a ritual that would not only mark the publication of the book but would be my 'croning', my official rite of passage into the third phase of my life. They had incense and candles and all sorts of hippie things. Here were colleagues in suits and ties who had only ever seen the professional outside of me, yet here I was, making public those strange and sludgy internal processes of my menopause. I felt like running away and hiding.
But it was too late. The candles were lit. The ritual began.
My daughter sang a song in my honour. My friends crowned me with flowers and gave me a cauldron to hold. Finally, I was declared a crone.
The people all clapped.
I walked to the front of the platform, looked at the sea of faces, took a deep breath and made my first speech as a crone, or elderwoman. They all cheered.
The first person to come up to me afterwards was a man in a suit – one of the sales reps for the company handling the book's distribution. He thanked me, saying that it was by far the most beautiful book launch he had ever been to. He asked me to sign a copy of the book for his wife. He had tears in his eyes. I was utterly amazed.
That was when I realised I had wings.
© Marian Van Eyk McCain 2007
Monday, June 15, 2009
Perfume Paradise - The Best Perfume
- Set pati minyak wangi berkualiti tinggi yang diimport
- Tahan lama dan ia bukan spray tetapi pati perfume (oil-based)
- Bauan minyak wangi telah diinspirasikan dari bauan minyak wangi berjenama terkenal yang berada di pasaran
- Semua pati minyak wangi ini adalah HALAL dan bebas dari alkohol
- Ia dikeluarkan dalam 5 set iaitu GOLD dan SILVER untuk Lelaki dan set DIAMOND, EMERALD serta SAPPHIRE untuk Wanita
- Setiap set mengandungi 6 jenis bauan yang diisi didalam botol berkuantiti 3ml setiap satu
- Untuk memudahkan penggunaannya, semua botol dilengkapi dengan bebola (roller)
- Cukup MURAH!! Hanya RM32.00 Semenanjung dan RM35.00 Sabah & Sarawak
DIAMOND - MARK MERAH
- Haruman Escape oleh Calvin Klein
- Haruman Pleasure oleh Estee Lauder
- Haruman Baby Doll oleh Yves Saint Lauren
- Haruman Cool Water for Women oleh Davidoff
- Haruman Rush oleh Gucci
- Haruman No. 5 oleh Channel
- Haruman Sunflower Red oleh Elizabeth Arden
- Haruman J'adorey oleh Dior
- Haruman CK Be oleh Calvin Klein
- Haruman Women Boss oleh Hugo Boss
- Haruman Poeme oleh Lancome
- Haruman Coco Mademaoiselle oleh Channel
- Haruman Burberry oleh Burberry
- Haruman Contradiction oleh Calvin Klein
- Haruman Fantasy oleh Britney Spears
- Haruman Just Me oleh Paris Hilton
- Haruman Apple Blossom oleh Body Shop
- Haruman BLV Woman oleh Bvlgari
GOLD - MARK HIJAU
- Haruman Blue Jeans oleh Gianni Versace
- Haruman CK One oleh Calvin Klein
- Haruman Polo Sport oleh Ralph Lauren
- Haruman Hugo Men oleh Hugo Boss
- Haruman Tuscany per Uomo oleh Aramis
- Haruman Allure Pour Homme oleh Channel
- Haruman Tommy Boy oleh Tommy Hilfiger
- Haruman Desire oleh Dunhill
- Haruman Instinct oleh David Beckham
- Haruman Valentino oleh Valentino
- Haruman Polo Black oleh Ralph Lauren
- Haruman Boss in Motion oleh Hugo Boss
Bayaran Pos Express adalah percuma!! Sekiranya berminat untuk buat tempahan sila email kepada ishatasya@gmail.com dan harga diskaun diberikan sekiranya membeli lebih dari 1 kotak
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Dark Chocolate - A Healthy Snack Option
Chocolate....12 billion people eat chocolate every day. It is considered a treat, a dessert, even a guilty pleasure. But is it really that bad for you? The evidence is coming in daily that disputes that thought. Many studies are finding that dark chocolate can actually be very good for you. That's right, eating the right kind of dark chocolate can have many beneficial effects on your body. The reason for this is because dark chocolate contains a high amount of antioxidants in it. Here are just a few of the health benefits:
- Helps in lowering your blood pressure
- Protects the body from the effects of free radicals
- Contains serotonin which acts as an antidepressant
- Helps in lowering your cholesterol by reducing the amount of LDL cholesterol
There are a few things to keep in mind though when selecting a "healthy" chocolate. Chocolate that is highly processed and alkalinized may contain:
- High amounts of sugar
- High amounts of fat and fillers
- Low amounts of antioxidants
Therefore, knowing what is in the dark chocolate you are eating, and how it is processed is a must, if you want to eat it for the health benefits. It has been shown that heating the chocolate during the processing actually destroys the antioxidants. Hence, you will want to eat chocolate that is cold-pressed when processed. This type of chocolate will retain the highest amounts of antioxidants and be the most beneficial to your body. One such chocolate is Xocai, manufactured by MXI Corp. They disclose that they use a cold-pressed, non-alkalinized process in creating their chocolate. They have also stated that this chocolate is low in fat and made with a complex sugar, rather than highly processed and refined white sugar. Another important thing to consider.
All in all, it is clear that dark chocolate does have health benefits that make it a worthy dessert. Moderation is also the key. Just as in anything you eat, too much of it can outweigh the health benefits so use your best judgment.
Author: John Lovell is an avid sportsman and advocate for healthy living.
Tips for Maintaining Friendships
Friendships are incredibly special things. Friends can be as close to you as family, and good friends will stand by you even when you are experiencing the darkest of times. A solid, trusting friendship is something to be valued and appreciated at all costs, but it can be difficult sometimes to keep friendships healthy and thriving.
People move away from one another, lives change, and sometimes distances can grow even between the closest of friends. Friendships are like plants in a way: they take time and care in order to stay healthy and happy. It doesn't matter if you have been friends for three months or thirty years; you can benefit from the following tips on how to keep the friendships in your life strong.
Keep in touch. You know that cheesy saying that you wrote in everyone's yearbooks in middle school and high school? Take it on as a mantra for your friendships and you can ensure that you will remain a strong presence in your friends' lives. Make time for one another, and take time to connect. If you are fortunate enough to live in the same city, schedule in weekly or bi-weekly coffee or cocktail dates where you can keep each other up to speed about what is going on in your lives.
This may seem like a stretch when so many of us are busy with so many other things, but nothing lets a friendship die more quickly than neglect. If you live in separate states or even countries, schedule times to talk on the phone. E-mail is a great way to keep in touch regularly as well, but phone calls are a bit more personal. Not only will making time for one another keep you updated on one another's lives, but it will give you some possibly much needed alone time with your pals and with no other obligations.
Be a good listener. As simple as this sounds, many people are not very good listeners. Yes, they may be sitting there and nodding their heads as someone is speaking, but are they really hearing what is being said? To be a good listener, truly focus on what the other person is saying. Don't start thinking about what you are going to talk about when it's your turn or how you are going to respond-wait until your friend is done sharing, ask follow-up questions and repeat back some of the things they said so the other person feels heard. This is a great practice for romantic relationships but it works wonders in maintaining friendships as well.
Communicate. No matter how close the friendship, there will come a time when you have a disagreement. It is inevitable, you bicker, someone says something hurtful and the next thing you know you are storming off in a huff, vowing to find some better friends who understand you better. A friendship can quickly die if words go unsaid, so communicating through an argument is important to keeping your friendships healthy.
Take some time apart to cool down before you talk again, and really try to look at both sides of the argument. Be honest about what you are thinking and feeling, and try not to go on the defensive when your friend tells you how they are feeling. Although it's not always easy, communication in times of upset only serves to make friendships stronger.
Be supportive. It is incredibly hurtful when you take a path in life and those around you don't support your decisions. As tough as it can be, try and unconditionally support your friends. If you think they are being harmful to themselves or others, that would be a time to speak up and step in, but in most cases, support and encouragement is a wonderful way to ensure that friendships grow and thrive. Knowing you have your friends standing behind your decisions and actions is a wonderful, empowering feeling, and one you should try to give to others as well.
Leigh Maher researches and writes about Celtic jewelry, and specialises in Celtic wedding rings, engagement rings and bridal jewelry. Click here for more information about diamond Claddagh ring.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Leigh_Maher
10 Tips Anger Management & Conflict Resolution in Relationship
Conflict and disagreement are inevitable in relationships. Anger is a natural emotion, and disagreements can be healthy sign of difference. Conflict usually occurs because certain needs are not being met - either within the relationship or outside or it. The object of conflict management is to ask for those needs to be met in a way that does not damage your relationship.
Here are some tips that may be useful to manage anger and reduce conflict.
1. TAKE TIME-OUTS. Disagreements are best dealt with when both parties are in a non-aroused state. Whenever possible, take a time-out to calm your body down. Techniques include breathing, relaxation & visualisation (see separate self-help guide). Strong emotions of anger, grief or anxiety do not make it easy for us to access our rational faculties and so there is little benefit of trying to address disagreements in this condition - it often just escalates into insults and unintentional dagger-throwing. Both of you should respect each other's need for a time-out; it's not running away from the issue, but preparing yourself to deal with it in more receptive mode.
2. REFLECT INTERNALLY. Check in on yourself and ask yourself what you think the issue is about. Ask yourself what part you are playing in this - are you misinterpreting what your partner has said? Are you in a bad mood from something else? Are you being reasonable here? Ask yourself if you think it is an issue that is important enough to stand your ground on - can you let this go without resentment or do you need to ask your partner for something? Sometimes we argue out of habit and because it connects us (even though it is negative, at least we both get attention). Ask yourself whether you really need to take up this issue. If so, think about what exactly you need to ask for.
3. EXPLAIN. Avoid presuming that your partner should know what is wrong. Empathy is an elusive concept - it is nearly impossible for another person to truly know what you are experiencing and to give you what you want. It useful if you can ask for what you need.
4. TAKE PERSPECTIVE. There is sometimes great temptation to elevate the stakes in an argument. Threats and ultimatums are damaging to the ego and chip away at the whole of the relationship. Thus, try and keep the argument to the specific issue rather than make the whole relationship at risk. Avoid 'if you do this one more time...' 'I can't take this any more, I'm leaving'... Each of you should know that however unpleasant this disagreement is, it will not touch the relationship. If the relationship is to end, it should be decided separately to a heated argument.
5. TRY TO PERSONALIZE. The conversation is best approached from a personal angle, rather than blaming your partner. If your partner hears criticism he/she will want to defend himself/herself rather than address the issue. Try and use 'I feel...', 'It hurts me when...', 'I would really like it if...', rather than 'you make me feel...', 'when you do that....'. Try also to avoid generalization such as 'you always do that..', 'you never think...' - it is certainly hurtful and is usually inaccurate.
6. OWN UP TO MISTAKES. It is not a weakness to accept that you have acted out of line. Owning up to faults and mistakes is helpful to both parties, so long as it is not done out of martyrdom or for manipulative effect. Apologising early can save a lot of unnecessary conflict.
7. INCLUDE SOMETHING POSITIVE. When putting your point across, it brings good results if you can refer to something positive as well. The discussion is unlikely to be rosy, but if you can draw on aspects that you do like, it will make your partner less tense and combative. Putting across negative points in a humorous way can also work. Humour doesn't mean your partner is trivialising the issue, rather it makes it easier for him/her to confront an issue.
8. FOCUS ON THE PRESENT. By clinging to the painful memory of a past event (no matter how distressing it was) you are impeded from living in the present. You are entitled to a period of grieving and are allowed to make your needs clear to your partner. Long-held resentment will tarnish a relationship. Try not to use past events as ammunition. Even though it might be a recurring issue, the current disagreement should address the here and now.
9. AIM TO BE HAPPY, NOT TO BE RIGHT. The purpose of approaching conflict is to get to maximum results for both of you. When you argue to win (by point-scoring), the gain is short-term and mostly leaves you feeling worse. When you argue to ask for your needs to be met, it is still unpleasant, but you are working to building better conditions for both of you.
10. AGREE TO DISAGREE. You are entitled to ask your partner to help meet your needs, but you are not in the business of getting your partner to come around to seeing the world as you do. It is fruitless to try to convert them to your philosophy of life. Differences should be embraced - including different sets of interests and activities. Finally, it is not up to your partner to fulfil all of your needs, they also have to be met internally and with other people (family, friends).
CONCLUSION:
The above tips represent a set of tools for handling anger management and conflict in relationships. They are not easy to incorporate, but with practice, your relationship will hopefully improve. It does not substitute for a professional consultation with a qualified psychotherapist or counsellor. If you or your partner's anger escalates into physical or emotional abuse, then it is strongly advised that you seek help from a third party or external organisation.
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