Friendships are incredibly special things. Friends can be as close to you as family, and good friends will stand by you even when you are experiencing the darkest of times. A solid, trusting friendship is something to be valued and appreciated at all costs, but it can be difficult sometimes to keep friendships healthy and thriving.
People move away from one another, lives change, and sometimes distances can grow even between the closest of friends. Friendships are like plants in a way: they take time and care in order to stay healthy and happy. It doesn't matter if you have been friends for three months or thirty years; you can benefit from the following tips on how to keep the friendships in your life strong.
Keep in touch. You know that cheesy saying that you wrote in everyone's yearbooks in middle school and high school? Take it on as a mantra for your friendships and you can ensure that you will remain a strong presence in your friends' lives. Make time for one another, and take time to connect. If you are fortunate enough to live in the same city, schedule in weekly or bi-weekly coffee or cocktail dates where you can keep each other up to speed about what is going on in your lives.
This may seem like a stretch when so many of us are busy with so many other things, but nothing lets a friendship die more quickly than neglect. If you live in separate states or even countries, schedule times to talk on the phone. E-mail is a great way to keep in touch regularly as well, but phone calls are a bit more personal. Not only will making time for one another keep you updated on one another's lives, but it will give you some possibly much needed alone time with your pals and with no other obligations.
Be a good listener. As simple as this sounds, many people are not very good listeners. Yes, they may be sitting there and nodding their heads as someone is speaking, but are they really hearing what is being said? To be a good listener, truly focus on what the other person is saying. Don't start thinking about what you are going to talk about when it's your turn or how you are going to respond-wait until your friend is done sharing, ask follow-up questions and repeat back some of the things they said so the other person feels heard. This is a great practice for romantic relationships but it works wonders in maintaining friendships as well.
Communicate. No matter how close the friendship, there will come a time when you have a disagreement. It is inevitable, you bicker, someone says something hurtful and the next thing you know you are storming off in a huff, vowing to find some better friends who understand you better. A friendship can quickly die if words go unsaid, so communicating through an argument is important to keeping your friendships healthy.
Take some time apart to cool down before you talk again, and really try to look at both sides of the argument. Be honest about what you are thinking and feeling, and try not to go on the defensive when your friend tells you how they are feeling. Although it's not always easy, communication in times of upset only serves to make friendships stronger.
Be supportive. It is incredibly hurtful when you take a path in life and those around you don't support your decisions. As tough as it can be, try and unconditionally support your friends. If you think they are being harmful to themselves or others, that would be a time to speak up and step in, but in most cases, support and encouragement is a wonderful way to ensure that friendships grow and thrive. Knowing you have your friends standing behind your decisions and actions is a wonderful, empowering feeling, and one you should try to give to others as well.
Leigh Maher researches and writes about Celtic jewelry, and specialises in Celtic wedding rings, engagement rings and bridal jewelry. Click here for more information about diamond Claddagh ring.
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